Witch
by linkinparkfan9799
Summary: An old tale. A clan of Vampires. A family of witches. All combined into one story of friendship, some laughs, and an adventure Renesmee Cullen will never forget.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: Cussing, Violence, and some crude humor.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any folk-lore of vampires, werewolves, witches, or any not own own Amelia and Amanda Cockrell.**

**Chapter One**

_**Renesmee Cullen**_

Everyone has a best friend, right? Someone to laugh with, to cry on their shoulders when they fail an exam or break-up with their boyfriend/girlfriend. It's not necessarily by blood bond per say, but it's something. I remember when I first heard of _my _best friend_s_. I was...well...I _looked _eight. It was dark as ever in the nights of Alaska. I couldn't sleep because of some stupid pack of wolves (not werewolves thankfully). Dad (or Edward Cullen as some know him as) came in and smiled a little. "You're still awake?" he chuckled. I nodded, too occupied with watching the window. I felt the bed shift as he sat at the foot. "Do you want to hear a story to pass the long night?"

"S-Sure," I shivered. I wasn't scared, just cold.

He patted my head, forgetting his skin is practically ice. "Centuries ago, there was a family of witches called the Cockrells. They were thought to be humans, but only until a day when the father, or a warlock, accidentally...sneezed, and his magic went out for a second, hitting a man with a log. The mother and father were caught and-"

"This doesn't sound like a happy story," I informed.

Well, of course it wasn't, but I was _eight_...in appearance. He chuckled. "Yeah, it isn't, but look," he pointed outside to light coming through, just not sunlight. "Well, that's the last time I let you pull an all-nighter."

He stood to walk out. "What happened to the children?" I squeaked.

He turned, hand on door frame. "Huh?"

"You said 'father' and 'mother'. Doesn't that mean that there was children?"

He smiled at my catch. "Yep. After the parents were burned at the stake, their twin daughters, Amanda and Ameila, ran off. They hunted vampires and werewolves for a living. Some say even others, but I doubt it."

"You didn't say 'once upon a time'," I pointed out. "Does that mean it's true?"

Dad shrugged. "I don't really know."

He walked out and I smiled out the window. I thought it was true. Well, it was. Little did I know it was actually a LOT more of a heck-ride then I thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning: Cussing, Violence, and some crude humor.**

**Chapter Two**

_**Amelia Cockrell**_

Years After the Story...

"Another damn move..." my twin, Amanda, muttered on the morning of June 8, 2014. "Where're we headed now? Buttnugget, Kansas?"

"Yep," I sarcastically remarked, "we're moving to Buttnugget."

She rolled her eyes and snatched my book out of my hands. "Stop reading about some depressing chick's life!" she groaned. "It's making you loco in the head!"

Being a witch, I have the capability of multiple impossibilities. One is conjuring books out of people's lives. Of course, random names are in order to prevent suspicion of normal humans. I sighed and plucked up the book about a 'Bella Swan'. To be honest, I wanted to meet her. Well, got that didn't we? "Says the witch with a 'B' who reads _picture porn_."

"It's called _Manga,_ Jack," she snorted, shoving some PJ's into her suitcase. "Besides, not my fault it's a _little _inappropriate."

"_Rosario+Vampire _is _NOT_ a _little _inappropriate!" I shut my book with a slam.

"Amelia, you put emphasis on every other word, you know that right?" she pointed out.

"Oh God," I shook my head. "Could you be any more hopeless?"

She shrugged and bashed her eyelashes while holstering her ancient flintlock. I stood from the rickety rocking chair and grabbed my suitcase handle. The log cabin we had lived in for approximately five years was now barren, a fly buzzing through and landing on a wall. Amanda raised a brow and stomped the wall with her brown leather hiking boot. "Damn fly," she muttered, stomping out of the door, which fell off due to her excesive force.

I followed in suit, reading my book along the way. The suckish part was that it had some random title: _Twilight_. Never the less, I read. Walking on through moss and branches and small animal which Amanda stopped their heads flat, we made our way out of Tillamook State Forest. "Bye Daniel!" I waved to the man who was the reason we were allowed to live in such a place. He waved as well. Amanda just sent me a funny look. "What?"

"Amelia, you _really _need to grow a gut."

So, in short, most of our distance was covered by me chasing her sorry ass all the way to Washington state. She leaned against a tree to catch her breath. I dropped onto my knees, grasping my throat as my pulse beat rapidly. "Okay..." I heaved. "You...win...this time..."

She nodded and slowly walked to me, yanking me to my feet. "So...Forks huh?" I nodded. "Man...why do we have to move from place to place like this? I mean how did we get from Drogheda, Ireland to Orgean?"

I shrugged. "Well, it's not like we're-"

"Used to Ireland, yeah, yeah. So what? We were born there! Sure we were raised as English men..."

"Women."

"But we still have that Irish blood!"

"Half," I correct. "Half-Irish blood. Father was a British man."

"Before he moved."

"Yes, quite true."

We kept traveling forward before we saw a school. We looked twelve, so it didn't appear to be suspicious in any form. We saw a girl with copper-like hair and warm chocolate eyes, also looking twelve. She seemed drawn to a History textbook, which as we walked on, Amanda insulted her for. I looked back once in the direction of the school. She seemed familiar to me, but my mind was to be hazed until she was out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning: Cussing, Violence, and some Crude Humor.**

**Chapter Three**

_**Renesmee Cullen**_

June 8, 2014, I was standing in front of the local tutoring building. It looks very similar to a regular school, so I wouldn't blame anyone if they mistook that. Although they'd probably guess we had Summer School at first. I stared at the neat-cursive handwriting in the thin black and white notebook. I had even drawn a few times and made them say hints or tips. It was ridiculous to me. Charlie, or Grandpa, drove up in his cruiser, some of the kids whispering. A group of giant jockies even laughed, although I wasn't about to pick a fight with them. Charlie waved to me and I slipped into the passenger seat, holding my bag on my lap the whole way through.

"So how was the session?" he asked, eyes on the road.

I understood why he wouldn't say 'tutoring'. He felt like it was too temporary. "No fights," I shrugged. That basically translated to my 'I would rather not like to talk'.

Of course he's not the one who lives with me twenty-four/seven. "Do you know how long you're staying?"

"Mom and Dad don't know either, so the only one who _does _is Carlise."

The great thing about Charlie is that he understands why I do this or that. We drove up to the diner, where twin girls were bickering over something that looked like a pornographic comic. I immediately thought they were part of the bad crowd. We exited the cruiser and walked in, but not before I exchanged a glance with the girl holding said comic. She had flowing black hair, her eyes milk chocolate. She was fairly pale, no blemishes to be found. Her turtleneck had long, navy sleeves, the regular body portion just white. Her pants were dark jeans, the bottom of each leg at least covering most of what I identified to be hiking boots with soft brown leather. The combination didn't strike me as violent or crude, just odd. The other twin was a tiny bit better with her options. Same hair, dark chocolate eyes, same skin, same healthy condition (although both seemed starved), I knew they were identical. Their minds, however, were not. This dark-chocolate eyed twin had a completely crimson shirt with elbow-sleeves, her jeans dark and her hiking boots dark-leather. She had a black, rubber bracelet with red letters saying 'BLEED'. One was peaceful, one was violent. That's all I could tell.

I followed Charlie inside and we sat at a small booth. The clouds called for rain, but they always did, so I wasn't about to strike up a conversation about the crappy weather. I started one on something that actually _interested _me. "Grandpa, who are those girls?"

Charlie followed the direction of my pointing nail to the twins. They had started bickering again, the more violent one snatching a black hardcover from her twin's other hand. Charlie thought a minute. "I think they are new folks in town. I know they have registration for several fire-arms..."

"At that age?" my eyebrow rose.

He shrugged. "I probably have their papers with me, seeing I haven't dropped any papers off at the Police Station since last month."

I giggled a little. Charlie was funny at times, even when he didn't mean it. The peaceful one rolled her eyes at her twin and stomped in, the bell smacking against the wall. Her twin followed, sticking out her tongue and holding up antlers behind her sister's head. How they lived with each other, I didn't know. "Oh stop being such a baby!" the 'peaceful' one swatted the other's hand away. "And give me back my book!"

"Technically it's not _your _book if it's about _someone's _life," her twin countered.

As Charlie looked around his backpack, seeing he had to carry it around a lot lately, I eavesdropped. "At least I don't read picture porn!"

"It's called Manga, for the _second _time today!" the violent one countered. "It's not my fault!"

"Then why do you read it!"

"Because I _like it _when monsters are _fictional for once."_

The last part was whispered, but I caught it. They weren't far. I blinked. What did they mean? The peaceful one caught me staring. "Hey you," she pointed at me. "What's your name?"

"R-Renesmee Cullen?" I gulped.

She blinked and plucked the book from her twin's grasp, looking through. "Yep. Cullen."

"Huh?"

The violent one laughed. "Oh shit this is gonna be funny!"

If you paid close attention to their voices, they had a slight British tone and slight Irish accent. Like said, you had to have paid _very close _attention. The peaceful one sighed. "Can we talk to you?"

I slipped out of the booth while Charlie wasn't looking and followed them out to the back of the diner, where some cars were parked. An elderly woman sat in one, snoring. "What?" I crossed my arms.

She held up the book. "Okay, don't freak out, although you probably _will_...we're witches."

I gawked. "W-Witch-WHAT?"

"Eight bucks bitch," the violent twin held out a hand to her twin.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Warning: Cussing, Violence, and some Crude Humor.**

**Chapter Four**

_**Amanda Cockrell**_

Eight bucks in my palm, I faced the gawking twelve-year-old Renesmee. At least I _thought _she was. "Yep. We're witches. We can prove it to."

She shook her head and glared. "Yeah! Proove it!"

_She sure seemed to believe us the first time_, I thought. Amelia sighed and took out her _Basics for Witches: Volume Self-Effect. _"Does invisability work for you?" she faced the tomato-faced idiot.

"Whatever! Just proove it!"

Amelia sighed and gripped the very top of her head, her palm stretching away from the fingers. _"Invisa, Disaperi, VANO!"_

In a matter of seconds, my twin's body melted into nothing. There was not a sight of her. A strand of Renesmee's hair was being tugged from an invisible force. A.K.A-my twin. "Believe us now?" I chuckled.

Renesmee blinked at the hair and poked the area to apparently find Amelia's hand. The strand dropped and someone poked me. "Can you please?"

I sighed and held the book in front of her. I knew she placed her hands over her stomach, if it was there that is. _"RETAN!"_ My twin's body shimmered into appearance. "Sorry if we scared you."

Renesmee shook her head. "Nah, it's okay...just why are you telling _me_?"

"Because she has a relative's 'life book'," I held up the black hardcover.

"Hey!" Amelia snatched the book back. "Stop taking it!"

"Stop being brain-washed by it!" I countered.

"WHAT THE-"-a biker sped by-"-ELL IS A LIFE BOOK!"

We jumped. "Jeez," I blinked, "no need to shout."

"Oh brother," Amelia shook her head. She stared at Renesmee who stared at her. "A life book is a section of one's life. This," she held up the book, "is about a 'Isabella Swan'."

"That's my...mom," Renesmee gulped.

"Creepy, yes," I nodded. "When you conjur up a life book, it comes out random. Unless if you do the advanced version, but we're only up to Level seven out of ten in witching."

"What are the levels?" Renesmee raised a brow.

"Mediocure, Basic, Average, Simple, Medium, Okay, Trying, Complex, Advanced, and Expert," I counted off my fingers.

She giggled. "It started out with four synomyms."

"That's how it works," Amelia sighed. "For example, Mediocure are spells some non-witches are able to cast; they still have to be somewhat monster or magical. How 'monster' are you?"

She smiled. "Half-Vampie."

I let out a low whistle and flicked my wrist. "_Conjurious Midiocrous," _I recieted, the 'Mediocure Chest' that we had shrunken down in Amelia's suitcase appearing at Renesmee's feet. "Find _Midocure for Vampires. _There aren't that many for them though."

She sifted through and plucked out the animal-hide cover book. She opened it to a random page. "Genk...Ophtapar?"

She must've seen something, because that spell makes one see a memory from the one they look at first. That being me. She shut the book and I sighed. "What did you see? My first witch trial?"

"No..." she pointed to Amelia. "I saw you smacking her with a _wooden stake._"

Amelia rubbed her head a little. "That did hurt..."

"Oh, you must not know there are two types of vampires," I chuckled. "_Fanged _and _Sparkles_. Remember that."

Renesmee rolled her eyes. "Oh haha. Are there really two types?"

My twin and I nodded. "One type has fangs and follow the basic folk-lore of life," we informed in unison.

Renesmee beamed. "Wow...do you guys want to meet Charlie? He's my mom's dad."

We shrugged and Amelia touched the exterior of the 'Mediocure Chest'. "_Shrink, Shrank, Shrunken Mead."_

It went up in a small cloud of smoke and was on the ground, the size of a Cheez-It. She pocketed it and we followed Renesmee into the diner.


	5. Chapter 5

**Warning: Cussing, Violence, and some Crude Humor.**

**Chapter Five**

_**Renesmee Cullen**_

Charlie was **still **looking for their papers when we returned. I turned to them, actually not knowing their names. "Hey, um...you know my name, but I don't know yours."

"Amanda," the peaceful one pointed to her twin.

"Amelia," Amanda pointed to the peaceful one.

"Cockrell," they spoke in unison.

"Cock..."

"Cock_rell_. Jeez you make it sound like we're the 'Penis Family'," Amanda muttered.

Amelia rolled her eyes and smiled gently. "You probably have heard our short little tale. Father sneezed and he was burned with our mother. We spent our lives hunting monsters like vampires, werewolves, or other witches."

"But we NEVER kill without reason," Amanda smirked proudly.

"Well, _I _don't," Amelia giggled, then pointing to Amanda. "She actually killed a witch for _sneezing on her_."

"Bitch, that hurt," Amanda poked her twin's collar-bone. "And she did it on _purpose._ I heard her recite 'sneeze boost'. Honestly, who invented that?"

I covered my over-sized grin. It was really weird for me to be fed all of this in one day. Charlie's phone rang and he answered, left hand in bag. "Hello?...Oh Edward. She's here." He covered the mouth part. "Renesmee, it's your dad."

I accepted the phone. "Hey Dad."

_"Renesmee, the tutors called."_

Crap. "Uh..."

Amanda mouthed, "What?"

I mouthed, "I ditched a tutoring session for an hour."

I knew she was thinking _Oh big whoop. _Well, it was for Dad. _"What posessed you to ditch?"_

"Well, uh...um..."

_Good damn thing he can't read minds over a phone. _Amelia sighed and waved to Charlie. "Hello sir. I'm Amelia Cockrell. This is my twin, Amanda. We were wondering if we could take Renesmee to the library?"

Charlie looked at me as I covered the mouth piece, trying to at least conjure up a _decent _lie. "You know these girls?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "I didn't recognize them for a second because it's been so long since I've seen them. They were up in Alaska."

Amanda and Amelia nodded, knowing to go along with the lie. Charlie sighed. "Well..."

"We can drop her off at your house," Amanda smiled innocently, holding a...taser behind her back. I honestly _still _don't know why she had it in the first place.

"Do you-"

"Renesmee knows," Amelia pointed out.

I honestly didn't, but these two were _witches_. They'd find out. "Please?" I begged.

Charlie sighed. "Fine. But can I have my phone back?"

I giggled and uncovered the mouth piece. "Sorry Dad, have to go!"

_"RE-"_

I hung up and returned the phone. Amanda and Amelia walked out, me on their heels. Amelia took out a standard map of Forks and we walked for twenty mintues to the library, in which we sat down in the warm interior and they stared at me in wonder. "What?" I laughed.

"You ditched~" Amanda sang. "You ditched~"

"Oh shut up," I muttered. "It was only for Trigonometry."

"UGH!" Amanda motioned gagging. "I _loathe _that crappy subject!"

"Eh," Amelia shrugged. "I don't necessarily hate it. I just prefer something along the lines of Literature and Writing. Amanda prefers picture porn."

"MANGA!" Amanda shoved her twin to the ground.

"Shh!" the librarian, Mrs. Jias, pushed a wrinkled finger to her crinkled and fat lips smeared with dark red lipstick.

"Sorry," we all mouthed.

We spent most of the time there discussing about the rest of the witching levels. Basic was apparently stuff for baby witches and the small exception of a 'noam', they said. Average was like the common magic you see in TV shows like 'Bewitched' except they used words and it didn't transform people into animals. That was Simple, in which it took to transformations and potions. Invisibility, they said, was a common skill taken out of the Simple category. Medium were more advanced potions and when one could at _least _produce a 'crystal ball' from several glass windows and a little magic energy. Okay was a bunch of reading stuff, like stars and palms. Trying was when you put everything together for the first time. Complex was when you mastered at least _half _of everything to a certain level. Advanced was when you mastered everything to the greatest extent and you no longer sneezed. Plus, you also got into spells without words. Expert was everything Advanced and down had to offer, and you could do everything without words, without help, heck, you could even _project _visions with a simple thought. Amanda said their mom was Complex and their dad was Advanced, but they had never met a single person who moved to Expert.

"Sometimes I wonder why they even _bother _with Expert," Amanda grumbled.

Amelia sighed. "Well, you can think of magic just like different study groups or grades. As you can tell, we're on Trying, so we know everything, yes, but we haven't mastered it all."

"Don't you have to _master _it in order to _get to it_?" I gaped.

Amelia shook her head, some hair dangling in front of her calm eyes. "You just have to be able to do it. Mastering is when you don't need a book. When you don't have to use words for it. There are _thousands_, maybe _billions _of spells that are available, so that's why nobody moves to-"

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen!"

_Oh shit. _I gulped and turned to Dad, standing right at the door. Amanda shot her hand into her pocket. "Who is that?" she snapped at me.

"Dad," I whispered. "No killing him!"

Amanda settled and took her hand out of her pocket, taking out five ancient knives with it. "Better not give me any reasons..."

"Amanda," Amelia sighed. She stood. "Look sir, I don't know what happened, but could you-"

She froze. I waved my hand in front of her face. "Amelia?" Amanda poked her twins cheek. "Amelia?" we called again.

She shook her head. "Uh...see you later Renesmee!" she laughed nervously, hauling Amanda out with her.

I raised a brow and sighed. I didn't get what was wrong _until _I snuck out the next morning.


	6. Chapter 6

**Warning: Cussing, Violence, and some Crude Humor.**

**Chapter Six**

_**Amelia Cockrell**_

"What was that!" Amanda snapped at me the next morning. "She could've been killed for all we know!"

"I doubt that vampire clan is _that _strict," I stirred my tea as I sat in the new chair.

The house we were in then was in the middle of a forest, on the outskirts of Forks. The stentch of vampies, 'Sparkle' vampires that is, was everywhere. Renesmee didn't smell as bad because she wasn't completly one. Although I caught a faint odor of were-wolves. "STILL!" my dumb ass twin shook me roughly, causing the hardcover to slip from my fingers. "WE JUST MET HER!"

"Exactly," I plucked her grabby hands off my shoulders. "We can hardly count her as 'trustworthy'."

"Okay, what about this," Amanda crossed her arms. "We kidnap her, keep her for a couple of months, _then _decide."

I rolled my eyes and stood gracefully from the squeaking rocking chair. "Oh please!" I scoffed. "You can sneak cocaine into a Senior Citizen Center, I'll grant you that, but you can _**NOT**_ sneak an actual girl out of her own home!"

"Oh those were the good days," she laughed.

"'Those days' were 1947," I pointed out. "Happy five-hundreth birthday then!"

"Exactly," Amanda beamed. "At least _then _we got a decent Pinot Noir without complaint!"

"That was from Aunt Sarah!" I screamed.

"So? She still didn't complain."

It went back and forth and back and forth all that morning on June 9, 2014. We were used to the bickering, so it only surprized us when we _stopped _at the sound of someone knocking. Amanda and I exchanged challenging looks before we raced the other to the door, both of us grabbing the knob and trying to knock the other off so they could open it. To say it simply, my ass was kicked. Yep. She litterally jerked up her foot and kicked my rump just to get my hands off the knob. The door creaked open to a panting Renesmee, holding her knees and sweating like a pig. "H-h...h-h...h-ERE!" she fell backwards, breathing heavily.

I kept rubbing my sore buttox as Amanda dragged her in by the back of her shirt. _"Shut door_," she whispered. The door shut easily. It takes focus for a witch's magic to work, mostly the reason why we say it in the first place. I bent down to pluck _Twilight _off of the wooden floor, wiping the cover of dust and dirt taken in by the soles of our boots. Amanda dropped Renesmee in front of the couch, too lazy to pick her up and actually set her on the light green cushions. I laughed softly. Like _that _was ever going to happen. Renesmee caught her breath eventually and hugged her knees to her chest. "Are you two going to explain why you scampered off like rats yesterday?" she huffed, eyes slightly narrowed with stern.

Yep. She was pissed. I set my book in my lap as I sat down in the rocking chair once more and sighed, eyes shut. "A vampire with special abilities has a distinct aroma. Your father's was too alarming, such as that of a mind-reader."

"That's because he is," Renesmee giggled. "I guess I should've mentioned that."

"Not your fault your family is not our business," Amanda shrugged, falling carelessly into the cushion of the nicest chair in the house: a light green recliner with a knitted pillow saying 'Monsters Die Pwease'. I found it marginally amusing. "Hey, do were-wolves come here often?"

Renesmee rocked her head as a 'so-so'. "Rarely, but only when my mom invites them, they come."

"RENESMEE CARLIE CULLEN YOU GET YOUR-"

"Edward!"

"-ASS OVER HERE THIS DAMN MINUTE!"

"Come on! It's your fault you stuck her in Trigonometry!"

I actually agreed with the feminine voice that scolded Renesmee's father. It _was _his fault he stuck her in something so dreadfully tedious. "RENESMEE!"

"Do you have a basement?" Renesmee laughed nervously.

"Down the hall, two doors down at your right," Amanda and I spoke in unison, also motioning in unison.

She shimmied towards the area and someone smashed their fist against the door. Rock, paper, scissors was our only solution for the situation. Amanda won, so I dared to open the door.

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	7. Chapter 7

**Warning: Cussing, Violence, and some Crude Humor.**

**Chapter Seven**

_**Renesmee Cullen**_

The basement was only lit by a small light bulb in the center of the ceiling. Boxes were stacked high. It made me think for a minute that they had lived here longer than they had seemed. In reality, they didn't, so I was shocked. Books were piled fairly high, the 'Mediocure Chest' from the day before sitting right next to the staircase. Something scampered along the ground, and I was afraid to ask what. A faint title caught my eye: _Diseases of the Witch _by a Sarah Cockrell. _Must be a relative._ I tip-toed over and plucked it off the top of a book stack my height. The first page had _To my dearest brother, Gordon _scrawled on it. The next had the title again and a small illustration of a sneezing nose. _This is odd..._I opened to the contents, which was written with a lot of strain I can tell. I flip to a chapter called 'Sniffles'. This paragraph caught my eye instantly.

_Due to the need of focus for witches and warlocks, sniffles are considered cannons in a quite medow. Generally a simple sneeze can result in multiple consenquences. One is that the magic will be momentarily out of control due to loss of focus. Another is the ending of another being hurt or the ending of you're burned at the stake. Plain and simple. To prevent sniffles..._

I stopped reading at there. So _that's _how it worked. _So loss of focus leads to _"Me-yow"_ of a situation. _It took me a few seconds to register that the 'Me-yow' was not from my own thoughts. I turned to see something similar to the scampering object from a few moments ago. A little black cat with red eyes watched me. It's tail gave off whisps of what looked like shadows. I thought it to have something to have with magic. A tiny collar was in it's jaw, so I tugged it out and read the small metal disc.

**Shadow**

**Amanda Cockrell's Familiar**

**If found, please return to:**

**Ireland **

**England**

**Italy**

**Russia**

**Austria**

**North-Carolina**

**Maine**

**New Jersey**

**Florida**

**Arkansas**

**Texas**

**New York**

**Alabama**

**Tenesse**

**Ohio**

**Idaho**

**Orgeon **

**Canada**

**Orgeon**

**WASHINGTON**

Everything _but _'Washington' was cut in half with a line. I sighed and patted the familiar's head, the thing purring like a normal cat. It yawned, in which my hand jerked back in fears it would bite my hand off, but it revealed shadow whisps in forms of feline teeth. I poked one, Shadow keeping their mouth open due to intellect. My finger went straight through the shadow whisps. I raised a brow and patted Shadow's head again, with more force. My hand went into Shadow, their eyes crossing to stare at the hand now in between it's nose. "Oops," I giggled, taking my hand back. "Sorry."

Shadow pounced onto my lap and licked my face, the tongue rough and real enough. I patted Shadow's head again and this time the hand didn't go through. I immediately knew it was a 'defense mechanism'. Someone knocked on the door. "Renesmee, PLEASE," Dad begged. "I'm just asking-"

"To get my ass over there, I heard," I stood, carrying Shadow up. "I just came to ask Amanda and Amelia why the heck they ditched me yesterday to-"-I opened the door to his impatient posture-"-wrath."

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay, sorry, but next time don't put me through that crap and _ask_."

"You would've said no," I pointed out.

"True, but then Bella would've said you should go and then I'd let you."

True, Dad always fell for Mom _sometime_. "Okay, okay, no more running to ask."

"And?"

I blinked obliviously. "W-was...Was I supposed to add something else?"

"And...?"

I got the jist when he pointed to my head. "And I won't ditch Trignometry even though it's a-"

"Shadow!" Amanda jumped in front of me. "There you are! I thought we lost you in the move!"

Shadow wriggled out of my arms and leapt to cling to Amanda's shirt. I giggled. "Shadow's a nice one."

"Eh, she's also a little piggie-pig," Amanda un-clawed her familiar from her shirt and held said feline.

"TELLS YOU A LOT ABOUT YOU, HUH?"

"Oh shut up Amelia I don't eat _that _much!"

Mom and Amelia came in, Mom covering her full-fledged grin. That was new. "Says the bitch who ate a full bowl of tuna-casserole in _thirty minutes_!"

"Depend-" Before I could finish, Amelia held up a sepia-shaded picture of Amanda, stuffing her face with a big-ass bowl. "Never mind. Amanda Porkers she is."

"HEY!" Amanda chased me around the house.

"Renesmee, we sort of have to take you back so Rosalie belives you're still _alive._"

"Can't we-ACK!" I was cut short with Amanda's collison with me.

We slammed into a wall. Dad and Mom winced. Amelia just laughed. "Karma's a loser..." Amanda muttered.

Shadow rubbed against Dad's legs. "Me-yow," she purred.

Dad patted the top of Shadow's head. "So this is a familiar, right?" he smiled at Amanda.

Jeez. These witches? Making a good impression on my parents? It made me laugh inside. The pain stopped me from laughing outside. "Yep! Everyone has one! It's just witches that can bring them out and put them back in~" she sang.

Amelia helped me up. "Well, come back any time! Oh and..." she leaned in. "If you have any cocaine, make sure you don't tell Amanda at all costs. She'll take it and sneak it into some poor sap's boot."

I giggled and nodded, following my parents out.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Warning: Cussing, Violence, and some Crude Humor.**

**Chapter Eight**

_**Amanda Cockrell**_

Shadow nibbled on the edges of that stupid sepia photo of me being a piggy-pig the next afternoon. The scent of bacon was overwhelming, and I liked it. Protein, man's (or immortal witch's) best friend. Dogs? Haven't heard of them! Shadow started nibbling on the laces of my hiking boots and I sighed, picking up the stupid ball of shadow collections and my hands went right through. It showed she wanted to destroy my laces. I shook my head and a white ball of who-knows-what darted by, Shadow screeching and darting off in a little ball of shadows. Once the light stopped, I squinted to a damn German Shepard. On the little tag was this:

_Angel _

_Amelia Cockrell's Familiar_

_If found, please return to:_

_Ireland_

_England_

_Italy_

_Russia_

_Austria_

_North-Carolina_

_Maine_

_New Jersey_

_Florida_

_Arkansas_

_Texas_

_New York_

_Alabama_

_Tennessee_

_Ohio_

_Idaho_

_Oregon_

_Canada_

_Oregon_

_WASHINGTON_

As Shadow's was, 'Washington' was the only place not crossed out. I shook my head. "Amelia! Your damn mutt is screwing with my cat!"

Amelia walked in with a pink-frill apron over a navy T-shirt and black slacks, black combat boots unsettling only to a normal person. She had the bacon pan in one hand and a spatula in the other. The worst part of the eye-damaging attire was that the apron said in green letters 'Kiss the Witch'. I gagged inside. "Well maybe Shadow shouldn't be snogging down all his biscuits!"

We went at it. It's actually hard to believe sometimes we actually fight about familiar's and who eats what. Then again, almost every witch's spells had a catch. A familiar means 'extra food'. Opening doors is 'not working' or 'it'll rip off the hinges and attack you' (only takes one to learn). At the end, when she called me a two-faced, crack-snuffing whore, I grumbled and sat back in the comfy chair, snatching the battered newspaper off the table and straightening it due to the idiot who put it in front of the door rolling it up and tying it with string. As much as I would've liked it, it wasn't the 1980s anymore. Angel stuck out her slobbery tongue and followed Amelia back into the kitchen, then sitting on her hide legs to beg for some bacon. The stupid bitch actually gave in.

The newspaper was mostly just old news we could've gotten from my first Crystal Ball (which shattered the moment I conjured it). Amelia came out with coffee and she sipped her tea as I held my white cup looking for news. I flipped the page and folded it vertically to sip my coffee with one hand.

'Vampires...'

I spit out everything in my mouth, including all traces of saliva and some taste-buds by what I could tell. I dropped the cup and unfolded the paper, shoving the print up to my face. Amelia was by my chair in the instant she saw taste-buds.

'Vampires and werewolves, slugs and goblins, all costumes at your local...'

I sighed in relief and dropped the paper, slumping in my chair. "Heh, oops."

Amelia smacked the back of my head with one of my Manga volumes of _Black Butler._ "You're better off reading porno."

I didn't argue with her this time. It was my fault for once that I spit out the coffee (and saliva, and taste-buds). The wall phone rings, in which none of us answers. Unfortunately, they invented something called 'messaging'. _BEEP _echoed throughout our house walls. _"__Hey guys, it's Renesmee. Don't ask how I got this number, since I don't know myself…but I was wondering if you'd like to come to the movies with Aunt Alice, Aunt Rosalie, Mom, and me? Call me back! And please…PLEASE don't be burning stuff. You live in a forest, remember?"_

_BEEP_. "That sounds like fun," Amelia untied her apron, chucking it into the laundry hamper outside the washing room door.

"Meh," I carelessly threw the newspaper onto the coffee table. "It's a movie. Movies are-"

"1910's invention," Amelia pointed out. She tweeted like a bird (and yes I was tempted to shoot her for such) and Angel hopped onto her back, licking her hand as she tried to pet him. "I thought you liked the past?"

"Yeah, but modern movies aren't like the good ole' ones where effects were crappy and the voices sounded like someone at the end of a shitty telephone network."

_RING. RING. RING. BEEP. "Hey guys, me again-"_

"Go away me!" I tossed the knit pillow at the wall, missing the phone by 'this' much.

"_-We're going to see some old Shirley Temple film, just to let you-"_

I had the phone in hand at that second. "WE'LL BE THERE! Oh and, WHAT IS WRONG WITH BEING A PRYOMANIAC!"

I slammed the phone back into place before she could answer. Amelia shook her head and sighed. "I'll get ready. Y-"

She blinked as I was already fully dressed head to toe. "Ha~"

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**I have a feeling this is gonna be long ='D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Warning: Cussing, Violence, and some Crude Humor**

**Chapter Nine**

_**Renesmee Cullen**_

"I'm so excited!" Aunt Alice wriggled. "I get to meet Amanda and Amelia~"

Mom sighed and Aunt Rosalie tried to calm Aunt Alice down, but she was having none of that. At the front of the old theater, I guess we stuck out, seeing they look like models and the run-down building looked like a homeless shelter from fifty years ago. It was chilly out, so I had a sweater on, jeans, hiking boots, and a white T-shirt. My hair was back in a ponytail, which was seized by some white German Shepard. "OW!"

"Renesmee!" Mom tried to get the dog's jaws off of my hair.

"ANGEL!" I heard Amelia call. "BAD FAMILIAR!"

_This is her familiar?-!_ A dark ball slammed into the white mutt and it let go of my hair, while ripping out the lower part and making my ponytail shorter and more croppy. That, and coated with dog slobber. "Ew…" I cringed.

Amanda and Amelia came into view. Amanda just laughed. "Haha! The mutt attacks someone other than Shadow now! Yay!"

"Not yay!" I scowled. "That hurt!"

"Oh wah, wah," Amanda stuck her tongue out at me.

Aunt Rosalie rolled her eyes. Aunt Alice pouted at my hair and Mom splashed it with her water bottle, getting the slobber out at least. "Are these your aunts?" Amelia motioned Aunt Alice and Aunt Rosalie.

I nodded. "Yep. Aunt Rosalie, Amanda and Amelia Cockrell. Aunt Alice, same thing."

They shook hands and Amanda raced inside. "SHIRLEY TEMPLE!" she screamed.

Amelia sighed and slumped after her. I just helped by pushing her forward. Inside, we got the tickets, in which Amanda started kissing. At the food counter, Aunt Rosalie told Amanda, Amelia, and I to get seats. So we walked off to door whatever. _"Disaperi, Invisa, Vano,"_ Amelia recited.

Amanda disappeared. "Oh ha-ha," she spat from somewhere. "Change me back."

Amelia put her hand on her twin's head and said, _"Retan!"_

Amanda reappeared. "How do spells work?" I asked.

"Well, ones on people always are cured by 'retan'," Amanda informed, pushing through a door that immediately fell off its hinges.

"Witches need a lot of focus to conduct spells, which is why sneezing makes the magic go out of control," Amelia filled in (even though I already knew it).

"The rest we still have no clue even though we were born in 1447," Amanda slumped into a seat.

"1497?" I asked, sitting down next to her and Amelia at my other side.

"Yep~" Amelia sang. "Isn't that cool?"

"Wow," I blinked. "You're older than Carlise."

"Thank you," Amanda put her feet up on the back of the chair in front of her. "We are grateful for that compliment~"

"That's a fact," I slumped, confused.

"Well, generally the older, the smarter," Amelia took out _Twilight_ and started reading.

I nodded and we waited. And waited…and waited…and waited. "What's taking them so long?" Amanda wondered.

I noticed the only other guy was in the very corner. He was thin and had shaggy hair. His skin was slightly blue. "Oh my God!" I stood. "Is he suffocating?-!"

"Wh-HOLY SHIT!" Amelia fell out of her chair. "Renesmee, BEHIND ME!"

She forced me to get behind her and Amanda stood, taking out what looked like a jar of tar. The guy stood and looked over, the hair shifting to reveal empty-eye-sockets. He opened his mouth and water came out in a small water-fall, his body growing and the clothes and hair being absorbed into his body. "What the Hell is that?" I snapped.

"Something I like to call 'Water Glob'," Amanda chucked the jar.

The jar was absorbed and shattered, polluting the water somewhat. Amelia ran for the doors and tried to pry them open. The Water Glob back-slapped her and she went flying into the wall. Amanda was searching herself. "Don't tell me that was your only one," I sighed.

"Yep," she bit her lip. "RUN!"

We clamored over the chairs and grabbed Amelia, kicking the door. The Water Glob grabbed me and I screamed. One door was kicked open from the other side and I was yanked out, the Water Glob hissing. Aunt Rosalie set me next to Amanda and kicked the door next to us open. "GO!" she screamed. "Oh, and how do you deal with this?" she asked.

"Pollute the water," Amelia stood weakly.

Amanda grabbed the garbage and it shot at the Glob, making the figure shrink. "You didn't say anything," I stated.

"Whatever!" Amanda hissed, racing to get more.

Mom, Aunt Alice, and Aunt Rosalie kept it busy as Amelia and Amanda made garbage cans shoot at it. Eventually, it was the size of a baby. I stomped on it and it evaporated. I was panting. "One thing I hate about monsters," Amelia held her head. "They show up at the most _random_ times…"

It was kind of pointless to try and continue, so we just arranged for them to meet the rest of my family in a week. The next day, I visited and Amanda was sleeping on the couch with a knit Steam Boat Willie. I nudged her in her sleep, but she just punched me in the nose. No big whoop. "OW!"

Amelia came in and blinked. "Hi," she sighed. "I guess I should've told you Amanda does that."

"You think?" I rolled my eyes.

"So, are you okay?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Surprising, gave me nightmares, but other than that, I'm just peachy."

Amanda yawned. "Expect that a whole lot," she sat up, rubbing her eyes. "Monsters like to go after witches because they're technically not monsters, but something in the middle."

I sighed and patted her head. "Well, who cares?"

"They do."

I laughed. It _was_ sort of obvious.

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	10. Chapter 10

**Warning: Cussing, Violence, and some Crude Humor**

**Chapter Ten**

_**Amelia Cockrell**_

"AMELIA!" Amanda called from her bedroom. "WHAT DAY IS IT?"

"June 22!" I called back, trying to yank on my navy-colored, wool cardigan. "Stupid piece of…UGH!"

Yes, that was the day we were to meet the rest of the ever-famous Cullen Family. Shadow was sleeping on the TV (for whatever cat-reason) in the Living Room and Angel was on the kitchen counter, staring at the ground in fright. "Oy-vey," Amanda hopped into the kitchen, pushing Angel off.

"Hey!" I glared. "That's my familiar you're messing with!"

"IT ATE MY BOOT!" Amanda snapped. "At least Shadow doesn't go around eating people's clothing articles!"

I rolled my eyes and finally managed to get my arms into the sleeves of the cardigan. I straightened it and poked at the white headband on my head. I had dark colored jeans with a white belt through its belt loops and navy sneakers. Amanda hopped around, reaching behind the TV for her 'emergency boots' or in reality, her best boots that she hides so Angel doesn't get to them. She had a purple shirt XL, two sizes bigger than her, M black sweats, a snug fit, and her finest boots, knee-length and black leathered, laced up with purple.

Angel scampered over to my side, jumping onto her hind legs and pawing at my leg. "Calm down!" I laughed, patting her head and letting her lick my palm. "Now you can't go jumping on the Cullens, you hear?"

Amanda stomped her boots on the ground to make sure they were on her legs and snatched Shadow, or at least snatched _at_ the damn feline, but Shadow made herself into her little shadow ball so Amanda's arms went through. "Of course," Amanda laughs. "Well, come on! We have Sparkles to meet!"

"You make it sound like it's funny to meet 'Sparkles'," I walk for the door, Angel following.

Amanda opens the door and steps through, slamming the door shut behind her. _CRACK!_ I held my nose and glared at the door until it flew off its hinges and beat itself over Amanda's head. "OW! OW! OW! HEY! CUT THAT OUT YOU CUR! _OW!_"

"That's for breaking my nose you bitch!" I continued, splinters flying this way and that. She started running and I followed in pace and tracks as to resume her well-deserved door-beat.

Trees started to fly by and our familiars went into their shadow and light wisp-collection to float by our sides. Eventually we broke through the area of thick trees to a large area with a large house, most of the walls simply glass. With one last strike to Amanda's head, the door was completely obliterated. "Smooth move, dumbass," Amanda huffed. "Now we don't have a door to the front of our house!"

"Well _maybe_ if someone didn't break my fucking nose!" I argued.

"Oh did you **really** just go there?" she crossed her arms.

"Damn right! Who do you think is the one who has to clean all the traps that _you _leave around the houses? HUH?"

"Santa."

"Okay, that was _one_ time and I was tired!"

"And I did clean the traps until that bear one snatched my kidney! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT HURT?**!**"

"Apparently not!"

"Um…guys?" We turned to Renesmee at the door, blinking. "Your kidneys are _inside_ your body." Amanda and I blinked at her in return before bursting out into laugher. She furrowed her eyebrows and crossed her arms in a form of pout. "And what's so funny about that? Do witches have their kidneys where their _brains _are supposed to be or something?"

Amanda and I started to support the other witch before wiping our eyes and regaining our breath, Angel chasing Shadow in circles around us. "Oh, it's nothing Renesmee," I shrugged.

"Oh nothing? That was the result of a dragon!" Amanda laughed.

Renesmee's eyes widened. "Those are _real?_!"

"Well, yeah," I giggled. "It was a new-born though, so not as vicious."

She simply blinked as the blood fled from her vase and slowly turned to the house. "Uh…follow me…I guess?"

I whistled and Angel stopped, barging for me and jumping up again, pawing at my leg. I patted her head and grabbed the back of her collar, gently leading her toward the house. Amanda tried to catch Shadow, but she was in her shadow-wisp collection ball once more. "Oh for the love of-" Shadow darted off. "HEY! BAD FAMILIAR!"

I laughed as Amanda took off after her escapee familiar and walked up next to Renesmee in the doorway. "Well, this is home," she waved a hand at the white walls. "Mom and Dad have a home in the forest, but that's smaller than all this and doesn't have the rest of the family…sometimes."

I looked around and raised a brow. "Was this a church once?"

"…No…" she hesitated. "Why?"

"Nothing, just reminds me of one I was almost burned at," I shrugged indifferently. Her eyes went all wide and I sighed. "It's not unusual, Renesmee. After the first one, it was sort of learned that you had to just concentrate and not freak out otherwise you can't use magic to escape."

"Oh so _that's _why so many witches burned?" a voice asked. I turned to a bulky guy with short black hair. "Oh, I'm Emmett. Which one are you now?"

"Amelia Cockrell," I presented a hand. "You can tell me apart from my twin because-"

"GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID CAT!" _HISSS!_ "OW! STOP CLAWING MY FACE YOU LITTLE-"

"Oh dear," a woman with a kind expression and small figure entered. Her hair was what I guess you would call deep red, but last time I checked I was a witch, not a colors expert. "I guess the girl outside is Amanda?" She presents her own hand. "I'm Esme Cullen."

I accepted her hand and shook it. "I'm Amelia, the…uh…what's the word for it?"

"Sane?" Renesmee stared outside.

"Yeah, that's it, I'm the sane twin."

"Not by much," Rosalie entered. "So uh…is Amanda trying to kill that thing?"

I turned to see Amanda chasing Shadow with a branch. I sighed and dug through my pockets to find _Witches Guide to Simplicity._ "_Gorf._"

"What?" they all blinked.

"RIBBIT!" a frog hopped in, colored brown. "RIBBIT RIBBIT RIBBIT!"

"Well that's what you get for freaking everyone out," I picked up the frog A.K.A-Amanda.

"Not everyone," Renesmee sighed. "And if anyone did, it's you for turning Amanda into a frog with whatever word that was."

"Frog backwards," I blinked. _"__Retan." _My body slams into the ground as my sister appears in my hands, her weight making me drop so. "OUCHIES!"

"Oh boy…" Esme laughed nervously.

"How many times does this make it?" Amanda huffed. "Seven?"

"Oh it was only six!" I snapped.

"Oh whatever!" Amanda stood, brushing off her sweats. She noticed Esme and Emmett and waved. "Hey. I'm Amanda. This," she pointed to me, "is my irresponsible twin."

"WHO'S IRRESPONSIBLE?**!**?" I shook her, glaring.

"AH!" Amanda darted behind Renesmee. "SHE'S CRAZY!"

"WHY YOU!" I chased her. "GET BACK HERE!"

I tripped over something and rolled into a wall. "HA!" Amanda laughed. "Now you know what it's like chasing a damn stubborn thingy around!"

"Thingy?" Renesmee walked in. "And be careful you two! I don't want you two killing yourselves."

She helped me up and Angel came in, pawing my leg. Shadow scampered in and nibbled at the laces on Amanda's boots. Amanda nudged her with the toes and picked her up, hugging her to her chest tightly and Shadow not fighting. Renesmee's dad came in and smiled a little. "Oh, it's you two."

"You say that like we're bad," Amanda chuckled mischievously, hiding her mouth behind Shadow's head.

He rolled his eyes and a man, maybe in his thirties, with blonde hair entered. He was tall, yet again, most of the family was. "Oh, you must be Amanda and Amelia," he smiled. "I'm Carlise."

Amanda darted behind me and stared. "What the Hell?" I turned. "Oh what's your problem?_!_"

"Oh you know me and blonde guys," she hissed.

"Okay, ONE guy tries to eat your brains and you don't trust anyone else because they're blonde."

"I trust Rosalie."

"Okay, GUYS who are blonde, happy?"

"Very."

Renesmee sighed. "Okay, what happened with her and…a brain-eater?"

"It's called a zombie, genius," Amanda sighed. "You have heard of those, right?"

"Yeah, but I don't know what's real!" Renesmee reminded. "What's next? Monster bunnies that explode?" Amanda and I blinked and exchanged glances. "You can't be serious."

"Uh…So Carlise!" I clapped my hands together. "It's so nice to meet you! Uh…anyone we haven't met yet? Hehe…"

Renesmee pouted as her dad (Edward, okay?) chuckled. Carlise nodded and turned. "Jasper! The twins are here!"

"Wait you have a ghost in the family?" Amanda gawked. I stomped on her foot. "OW! SON OF A-"

Renesmee clamped a hand over her mouth. "Could you two please normify or whatever you do to become normal?" she laughed.

"…NORMIFY?**!**" Amanda and I burst into more laugher. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Oh shut up," she huffed, crossing her arms and scowling.

Another boy came into the room, this one looking a little pained, but just a bit. Alice skipped in next to him and waved. "Hello!" she greeted.

I waved as Amanda snatched out some tape from her pocket and started wrapping her head with it. "No brains stolen for me~" she sang.

"Oh boy, why not just lock yourself in the closet?" Renesmee and I snapped.

And so she did. My eye twitched. "Hopefully I don't find the knives otherwise you'll be seeing a rather Swiss-Cheese looking ghost the next morning…" I grumbled as Angel rammed into the door.


	11. Chapter 11

**Warning: Cussing, Violence, and some Crude Humor**

**Chapter Eleven**

_**Renesmee Cullen**_

I tapped the table, staring at it with some cross in between 'frustration' and 'confusion'. Or 'stumped' if you will. "Monster bunnies that explode…how the heck does _that _work?"

"Renesmee?" Mom entered the room I tend to stay in while visiting. "Do you know the girls are here?"

"Yeah, why do you think I look stumped?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes with a small smile. "I guess that's true," she shrugged. "Still, you might want to actually hang out with them before they hang each other."

I blinked and turned slowly. "What do you mean?" I gulped.

She pointed behind her with one thumb. I ran past her, racing down the stairs. Unlike most house-holds, it's allowed because I'm in a family of vampires; they run at the speed of light for Christ's sake! I skidded to a stop and my jaw dropped. For one, Uncle Emmett was sitting there, _laughing_. So was Esme, but that's more along the lines of the 'oh dear' giggle. The rest were smiling and not even stopping the two nimrods tackling the other on the floor, mostly covered in bruises. I'm was surprised they were not bleeding and their clothes were unscathed. Angel and Shadow made the situation worse by forming themselves into score-cards.

"CUT IT OUT!" Amelia sent a punch to Amanda.

"STOP TRYIN' TO TAKE OFF ZE' TAPE!" Amanda's accent slipped to the Irish side as she kicked Amelia.

I didn't do anything because I was shocked at my family's inconsiderateness to the situation. "Uh…" I blinked.

Carlise waved a little. "Don't worry. We're used to it."

"They just need to cool off after a bit," Alice giggled.

Mom _walked_ down and also became confused of the situation. I guess it's because we never had any siblings of our own.

Go no-siblings!

Anyways, as the two of us were confused, the twins fought and the family just watched. I eventually shook it off and grabbed a fireplace-poker. Never did really make sense to me why vampires would have a _fire_place. "Hmm?" Jasper watched my movements.

Everyone that wasn't biting someone turned to me as I crept toward the two she-witches. I pulled the poker back a little and, with enough force, managed to stab the poker through Amelia's headband. Both froze after that. "Calm. Down. Now," I huffed.

Amelia ducked her head and pulled off her headband, examining the hole. "Aw man…This was $6!"

I stood straight, eyebrow raised. "_$6? _For a plastic headband?"

"Hey, live in Organ for a while," Amanda pointed at me. "It's Expence-Ville down there."

Rolling my eyes, I prodded both their backs so they would stand up. They did so and Amelia patted out some dust that got on her bottoms. I also never really got why she didn't mind the dozens of bruises her twin had gifted her with. After that came the 'getting to know them' part of the visit. It was embarrassing for both of them because the other twin had the perfect amount of blackmail on her counterpart. The winning one came from Amanda about Amelia and a devil. Her exact words were, "AT LEAST I NEVER-"-Dad covered my ears-"-A DEVIL!"

"SHUT UP!"

Then the next tackle battle began. We waited patiently for them to quit. When I felt they had enough, I grabbed the poker again, but they weren't falling for the same trick twice. They both cursed my poker to twist and bend until it was rendered useless and continued their strive. Rosalie threw out the poker for me as I stared at the remarkability that was the survival of my hand. All I could and did do was wave my hand through Angel-Score card and Shadow-Score card until they gave it up and sat on my feet. It kind of tickled, seeing as they were made of light and shadow wisps.

The adults started chatter amongst themselves as Mom and I stared at Amanda and Amelia, arms folded on the back of the couch and knees on the cushions. They caught us staring and we gave then unison one-waves, looking bored. "Hey…" Amanda glared.

"What's with the bored faces?" Amelia sounded hurt.

"You've been fighting for fifteen minutes," Mom shrugged.

Both twins thought a bit before jumping up, tackling me. "Then we'll add one~"

"**WHOA WHAT?**_**!"**_ I screamed. **"NONONONONONONONONONONONONONO NONONONONONONONONONO!"**

"I…don't think that's going to end well," Rosalie stood, grabbing my arm. "So no."

"Ah crap," Dad shook his head.

_SO POSITIVE, DAD!_ "Aw, why?" Amanda and Amelia tugged against Rosalie.

"You'll kill her!" Rosalie tugged back.

"Oh _SO _confident, the both of you!" I snapped.

Alice giggled and skipped over, joining in Renesmee-Tug-of-War. "This looks fun~"

"ALICE!" I groaned. "Uncle Jasper, calm them down please!"

"Actually, this is pretty entertaining," he chuckles.

My eyes glared at my Uncle. Such a help, I know. Kind of hold a grudge against him for that, but every time I try to confront him about it, he uses that stupid emotion power on me. It's so annoying! I wriggled and struggled, but being the half-human, not pureblood supernatural creature like everyone tugging at me, it was hard. I used the weapon of screwing with their minds next, pretending to go insane, but I think my Dad saw his chance to get at me for ditching class, because he used _his_ stupid telepathy powers and told them that I was faking it.

At least Amanda backed me up and said that 'sure I _thought_ that, but I was probably trying to convince myself I didn't belong in a Mental Institution'.

Like she's one to talk. She drinks for Pete's sake! Well, more like Paula's sake, but we'll get to that later. Thankfully, oh so thankfully, Mom was born a grown-up and set me free, earning one of my famous payment hugs. We spent hours doing more goofy things and learning more about one another. Apparently their aunt was still living, but she was in a mountain. When Emmett asked 'what the Hell does that mean', they said that there's this big mountain in Montana that was hallowed out and a ton of 'fang' vampires live there (including their poor aunt). They got sheepish when Mom asked them how she got turned, so Amanda lied and said she was tired and preferred not to talk her head off.

Amelia laughed. "You do that all the damn time!"

"Hey, no need for cussing," Amanda pulled the shame finger.

…_When did they switch roles?_ Amelia scowled. "Damn, damn, DAMN."

Each time they said the word, it made all of Dad's family (plus him) cringe. Mom, however, seemed unaffected. "Insensitive!" Amanda gasped theatrically. "Do you not see what the mention of _your boyfriend's baptism _does to them?"

"THAT! IS! IT!" Amelia tackled Amanda full on, this time going through a window.

"OW!" we all jumped. We exchanged frightened glances.

"HEY! OW! YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOW! STOP IT YOU DUMB DEVIL WHORE!"

"**WOULD YOU SHUT UP? HE! DID! IT! TO! ME!"**

I was too afraid to ask for details, so I shooed Shadow and Angel after them as Amelia chased Amanda into the trees with a sledgehammer. We all stayed in the house and I couldn't sleep for two reasons. One, I was surprised how violent they could get. Anymore and I would get a heart-attack! Two…

…I was afraid to ask for details on the devil situation with Amelia.


	12. Chapter 12

**Warning: Cussing, Violence, and some Crude Humor**

**Chapter Twelve**

_**Amanda Cockrell**_

Sometimes I wonder about that twin of mine. Always with the violent nature, she is! I mean, people look at me and think 'oh she's the tough one', 'she's the troublemaker', 'she's going to end up a fucking gangster or something'! WELL LIVE WITH MY SISTER FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS AND YOU WILL MOST CERTAINLY SEE WHAT I MEAN YOU ASSHOLES!

…

I take a deep breath. _Stay calm…Relax…_The tips of my fingers massaged my temples as I sat on the couch, legs spread as I slouched over and rested my elbows on the knees. Shadow slinked through my legs, making a constant figure eight in shadow ball format. "Way too damn early in the morning to be up…" I muttered bitterly.

"Oh that's just modern society talkin'!" Amelia slapped me upside the head. That didn't help the least bit. "Remember back in England? We had to get up at three in the morning!"

"Yeah, I remember," I answered. "I _hated _that. Also, all there was for music was bashing rocks together and wooden flutes."

"Not true," Amelia patted Angel's head as she trotted in.

I scoffed. "Pretty much. May I remind you of that one douche?" We both shuddered at the memory. In short, some royal nub asked us long ago to play him a tune right there on the side of the dirt road and all we had was wood and rocks. In so, I bashed rocks together until Amelia whittled a flute and played a really edgy tune of something I can't remember.

"Well, at least it's the 23rd," she yawns. "The anniversary of when we learned the world was going to end in 2012…" she sniffled dramatically.

I laughed. "Yeah, June 23, _2013_!" I cracked up. It was funny when we said 'oh shit we must've been sooo wasted' in front of the Tillamook police! Granted we were put in prison for a full twenty-four hours, but two words:

WORTH IT.

She laughed to, high and ragged it was. We were laughing for so long, we barely heard the knock on the door. Of course, instead, the person just ripped off the door. "YO!" I stopped immediately, flinging my arms up. "WE JUST GOT THAT BACK ON YOU FAGGOT!"

"Gee, such a warm welcome," Renesmee rolled her eyes and set the door to the side. "And sorry, but it sounded like you were doped up on helium!"

"That's because we are!" Amelia joked, smiling and bashing her eyelashed. Renesmee didn't look amused though. "Err…can't you take a joke, woman?"

The half-blood shook her head and sat down next to me, folding her hands in her lap. "So, did you enjoy the visit yesterday?" she questioned. We gave her a quizzical form of stare. "What? Do I have a second head or something?" She even felt around her neck for emphasis.

"No, thank _God_," I slumped back, crossing my arms behind my head. Trust me, I have had enough with two-headed freaks or ten million-trillion headed bastards! It might sound cool now, but you go out, find one, and tell me that's it's cool then. Well, if you're alive that is. "Trust me, you're not bitchy enough to even relate to one."

"…Thanks?" she blinked. Did she not appreciate my compliment? I still have no idea, nor am I quite sure how I even remember this. Meh. Good memory I guess. "So, how's your morning?"

"It just started," Amelia admitted.

"Oh…Sorry I barged in," Renesmee shrugged.

"That ain't good enough!" I shove her off the couch. "Fix our damn door!"

"AMANDA!" Amelia chucked a dictionary at my head. May I say dictionaries must have secret targeting devices in them, seeing as that hit more accurately than Amelia drunk-shooting, and that's a pretty legit statement! "Hehe, sorry Renesmee, you don't have to do that."

Renesmee shrugs. "I don't really mind. Anything better than going to school." We froze. "…Oh crap that slipped."

"RENESMEE CULLEN YOU DITCHER!" we scolded her. "YOU GET YOUR ASS TO SCHOOL _NOW!_"

She was a bit stunned, but decided to get brave. "Or** what?**" Yep. She should not have went there.

Later, we were walking in town, Amelia holding the backpack. "Why do you get the light stuff?" I whined.

"Because you have your VNS to deal with, and this is as close to medication as it gets," she huffed.

Renesmee was red in the face. "STOP DRAGGING ME ON THE SIDE WALK YOU LUNATIC!" she kicked.

"H-Hey!" I grunted as she started dragging _me_. "Don't make me go all witchy on you!"

"YOU'RE GOING BITCHY ON ME AND I FIND THAT PRETTY CLOSE!"

_Okay, one more of those 'bitch=witch' cracks and someone's going to be shoved up Satan's crack-pot!_ I sighed and put a little more force into my heaves, the school coming up at last. "God bless strength!" I gasped with relief. "Okay, now let's venture fo-"

_RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIING!_

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF-ARUGH!" Amelia and I roar, covering our ears. "INFERNAL CONTRACTION!"

Renesmee gave us an odd stare. She didn't even think about standing up. "You mean the _school bell_?" she snottily retorted.

We nodded. "Hey, we're old fashioned, remember that missy," I lightly nudged her nose.

Her eyes rolled and she stood, walking the opposite way. Instead of letting her loose, Amelia grabbed her arm and revealed to her the time on her watch. "You might have missed the first few hours, but you are going in _now_ while lunch is happening."

Renesmee groaned and let us tug her inside. Both of us walked up to the front desk, our appearances sweet and innocent. It absolutely made me want to die right there. "Excuse me?" I tapped the desk, my voice a bit high as too not give off a threatening stance.

The old crone behind the desk glanced at us over the tops of her spectacles. _"What?"_ she griped, some saliva coming out for she was chewing gum.

My stomach churned, and I'm pretty sure Amelia was no different. "R-Renesmee Cullen is here?" she gulped. "We thought we would have to inform you."

"Are you her parents?" the lady kept chewing the gum, mouth open. Honestly, I really _did not _need that scar on my memory. Orange teeth, crinkled lips smothered in deep red lipstick, wrinkles caked in blush and various other make-up products. LADY, YOU ARE NO LONGER A HIGH-SCHOOL TRAMP!

"Yes, both my twin and I managed to pop out a girl the same age as us," I snapped. I spread my arms with an expression of disbelief. "WHAT DO YOU THINK?"

I swear Renesmee was laughing her guts out behind us. The woman loomed over the edge of the counter to glare directly into my soul. _"Excuse me?" _she hissed, saliva dripping onto my cheek.

Okay, so I damned the multi-headed creatures I had encountered in my past and said that the bitch definitely over-towered them (in more ways than one) in my ladder of various pet-peeves, wouldn't you? "What, did you pass gas or something?" I countered.

"Oh my God, come on!" Amelia started to drag me away. "Stay in school, Renesmee!"

"…Bye guys," she waved to us.

My ankles sliding across the ground as I let Amelia do all the work of getting me out of there, I flipped the woman off before Amelia slammed the door closed. I simply got out my little red book and jotted 'Fat, old, delusional crone' under the 'Teepee House' list. With that, I called the Cullen residence. _"Hello?"_

"Who are you calling?" Amelia demanded.

I used magic to duct-tape her mouth. "This is Amanda, um, could I please get Emmett Cullen?"

**Review~**


	13. Chapter 13

**Warning: Cussing, Violence, and some Crude Humor**

**Chapter Thirteen**

_**Renesmee Cullen**_

Sitting on the couch of the small home in the woods, not the elaborate glass house that the rest of the family lives in, I munched on popcorn while watching _Looney Tunes_ re-runs. Dad and Mom had to go out for whatever reason-_I think it was something about Emmett_-so it was silent for the most part. That is, until a certain troublemaker was dragged in by Dad and the innocent-psycho being led in by Mom.

"Um…Are you trying to force me to be social or something?" I called to them.

Amanda was plopped next to me, the impact to the cushions making me wobble and land on her lap. Amelia sighed and heaved me up, sitting on my other side. "Amanda was caught covering that poor receptionists house with toilet paper," she sighed with disappointment. "With Emmett, no less!"

I just blinked for a few minutes. That is when I shrugged. "Eh, doesn't surprise me," I leaned back, reaching into the bowl for the popcorn.

"**It landed on me, dumbass,"** Amanda growled. When I glanced at her, she was right! All the popcorn had flown out and…well, you can figure out the rest, can't ya'? Popcorn is an American delicacy, so I refused to give it up. Therefore I plucked some from her hair and ate it. She seemed to have a similar idea to. "Well, at least it's good popcorn…"

Dad sat in a chair near the couch and faced us. Mom just took some hair popcorn and stood next to our couch. "Okay, so as Amelia said, Amanda is in trouble for destruction of property-as is Emmett. Carlise thought that maybe her spending time with you would help, but seeing as you keep ditching-"-_Whoever squawked is getting a pumpkin up their-_"-RENESMEE."

Yeah…Sort of forgot about my dad's telepathy at that moment. "…Hehe," I laughed nervously, "c-continue?"

His eyes rolled. "Anyways, so Amelia is here."

"Hi~" Amelia hugged me. Amanda and I both glared at her. She zipped behind Dad, afraid of the 'Miss-Kiss-Up' message we were sending. "M-May I say your daughter is exceptionally scary once enraged…"

Amanda snorted and started picking out all traces of popcorn off of her. "Wait until she gets drunk, legal aged or _not_," she laughed silently. "It will be the end of the world!" The fact that they burst out laughing was enough to scare Mom, Dad, and I from the room.

"Erm…And I'm supposed to be with them for how long?" I squeaked.

Mom looked confused. "Don't you three get along?" My look of disbelief made her reform the inquiry. "Do you not get along with both of them? YOU, not THEM with each other." I nodded in my approval.

It took me a bit to think about it, but I eventually nodded again. "Well, yeah, but they are complete psychos, if you have not realized this by now," I bashed my eyelashes innocently.

"They're staying until you kick this ditching habit," Dad informed.

My eye twitched once. "Um…You do know that might take _forever,_ right?" I reminded. Still, he pointed to the door back inside and I sulked in. "Guess what guys? You're apparently moving in!" Amanda suddenly dropped to the floor, paralyzed. Amelia was wide-eyed. "Ugh, _learn to take a joke!"_

Both twins shot up and grabbed one of my shoulders, shaking me rapidly until I felt nauseous. "BE FUNNY!" they scolded.

Honestly, I did not really think I would last the night. Instead of being tortured, like I was lead to believe by their craziness, we just talked and chatted about random stuff. It went from simple spells (okay, we turned Amelia into a pig ONCE and Amanda into Marilyn Monroe ONCE) to why the heck we did what was in the parenthesis to favorite stuff to spells again. No matter what, it always seemed to track back to the spells. Noticing this pattern, I decided to ask them about past screw ups.

Amanda said that one time the toilet blew up in 1903. She was trying to shrink chest of spell books that she had brought in with her at a restaurant whilst not trying to arouse suspicion, but she was only at the 'Okay' level, so it backfired to blowing up the toilet through the roof. Both Cockrells were not seen at any more restaurants after that. Amelia then said that they ran into a Cyclopes at a skating rink and accidentally blew up a popcorn machine. When my jaw dropped, she apologized for popcorn-abuse. That made me smile.

We started reading spell books after laughing out the tale of Amelia and her stalker devil, which we had to duct-tape her mouth shut so we could actually finish it. Apparently some devil fell in love with her and started stalking her all over, sending love notes, killing any boy who ever went near her. It sounded terrifying at first, but when we got to the part about falling for the number one night life disaster, that was all forgotten. Yep, drugs in the offered drink.

Amanda and Amelia were both reading over everything 'Okay' and under, seeing as the upper levels were simply putting everything together. Well, they skipped Mediocre, so I read the _Mediocre for Vampires._ Like Amanda had said the first day we met, there were not that many. By the time Mom walked in, I had already memorized half of the spells and that was ten for crying out loud. "How's it going?" Mom patted my head.

"It's going," Amelia flipped a page of _Medium for Witches: Volume Potions. _

"So, you going to be kidnappers and keep us hostage here or something?" Amanda shut _Basics for Witches: Volume Self-Effect._

Mom's eyes rolled. "Yep, that's our _grand plan_," she flicked Amanda's head. "Now what do you think?"

Amanda smirked. "I think that you sparkly vampies need to stop looking like Ke$ha's make-up cabinet."

I did not regret laughing at that. For some reason, I could not stop laughing, so I fell off the couch holding my ribs. Mom was laughing to, Amelia not so much. So Mom sat with us and read the spells with me. For some reason I felt like I should study more and I could accomplish more than these spells. In so, I started beating the twins senseless with the book for brain washing me like Dad wanted. It was hard for both parents to pry me off, but they did eventually as to not let me make them bleed internally. Yep. I was extremely pissed at them.

It was only washed over when Amanda made my nose a beak, which I pecked her with. After a while I had to spit out some bugs it caught that were in her hair. Amelia picked out the rest of Amanda's bugs and said 'retan' to make my nose pop out again instead of the damn beak. _Now I know how birds feel_. Did you know that they actually _itch_? It is not fun, my friend. Of course, we were all laughing and smiling then, but we really did not foresee the troubles and mayhem of the later days we have known each other.


End file.
